


Demon Cosplays Demon

by GlitterSkullFairy



Series: Random Lindamenakeen fluff [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Amenadiel has the wings and who cares if they're the wrong colour?, Cosplay, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Linda has the blonde curls, Lindamenakeen, Maze identifies as Crowley, Multi, Post-Season/Series 04, Television Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 00:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20648114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterSkullFairy/pseuds/GlitterSkullFairy
Summary: Linda was rummaging through an old drawer she never used in the constant quest for more space when she found a crochet hook and a few balls of yarn, one of which was the perfect shade of grey.  It wouldn't take much effort, she realised, to turn it something to go around a demon's neck.  She did most of the crochet work hidden in her bedroom, and it was a few days before it was long enough.  When, after fiddling with the tiny threads for the best part of an afternoon, she was finally happy with the tassels at the ends, she presented it to Maze.Who shrieked like a girl and hugged her so hard they both ended up on the floor.I which Linda makes her family watch Good Omens and Maze gets more obsessed than anticipated.





	Demon Cosplays Demon

**Author's Note:**

> In my mental timeline, this takes place after my other story "The Miracle" but I have not tagged this into that series because it's a deviation into pure fluff.  
However, one of the common comments I got on that was that people liked the GO reference, and the idea refused to leave me alone.  
Yes, it's kind of another crossover, but not quite.  
Yes, I'm far too obsessed.
> 
> Thanks to my beta, who is also my ineffable Aziraphale, for putting up with my crazy.
> 
> Thanks to everyone in the Good Omens Costuming Group on Facebook who came up with terms for the thing Crowley wears around his neck.
> 
> Thank you to my techy spouse for figuring out why the footnotes weren't working and fixing them.

They were one and a half minutes into _Good Omens_ when Linda had to pause the TV because the groans of her supernatural support team. After a plea for patience and assurances that it was not meant to be a historical documentary, they agreed to shut up and try and enjoy it for the sake of their friend, who quite frankly, was exhausted from the stress of the few weeks of motherhood[1] and "just wanted to relax with something fun."

Maze wasn't sure how much fun pretend angels and demons would be, until roughly two minutes and twenty-five seconds later. Another forty seconds and Amenadiel was on board too.

They went straight into episode two and watched the remaining four over the next couple of evenings.

A week later, the word "ineffable" kept coming up in casual conversation around the house. A week after that, and the bath became cluttered with a slowly increasing clan of rubber ducks.[2] Amenadiel found that people had started referring to him as "Angel" but for some reason he didn't mind it at all. Maze started wearing shades a lot, and was once caught shouting at a potted plant. 

Linda was rummaging through an old drawer she never used in the constant quest for more space[3] when she found a crochet hook and a few balls of yarn, one of which was the perfect shade of grey. It wouldn't take much effort, she realised, to turn it something to go around a demon's neck.[4]

She did most of the crochet work hidden in her bedroom, and it was a few days before it was long enough. When, after fiddling with the tiny threads for the best part of an afternoon, she was finally happy with the tassels at the ends, she presented it to Maze. 

Who shrieked like a girl and hugged her so hard they both ended up on the floor. Linda couldn't help but giggle, infected by the intense emotions as Maze rolled her around. She was unsure exactly _why_ what she'd done had such an impact, but enjoyed the outpouring of affection anyway. Eventually Maze let go and sat up, and Linda righted herself and straightened her skirt.

"So I take it from that that you like your present?"

"Linda, it's awesome. No one has ever given me anything like this."

"Like what? A badly made neck noodle?"

"Something pretty. Or just for fun."

"It's just a little thing I thought would make you happy."

"Exactly. You were thinking of me."

Therapist mode, unfortunately, never completely turned itself off. "And that's new for you?"

"Yeah. I guess. It's not really a thing in Hell."

"Maze, you've been here for years."

"I've had gifts. Usually when someone wanted something. Including you. But this is different."

"Can I ask why?"

Maze groaned. "Okay, but only because you got me such a cool present. I guess because I found something I like. You saw me connect to something, or someone, and you did a thing, and it meant something."

Linda paused, trying to fill in the gaps. She used to think Maze struggled with feelings because caring just wasn't on her nature, but now she was coming to the conclusion that the demon just didn't have the experience or the vocabulary to process them. "You feel connected to the character?"

"Well, yeah, we're both demons. Plus, we both look good in black. And I dunno… since I came to earth…"

"Crowley cares a lot about this planet. And the creatures who live in it, and the people. It goes against all expectations."

"Mmm-hm."

"He's supposed to be the villain, or at least the bad guy, but he doesn't always seem to be very good at it."

"Not always. I mean, he's not _tamed_ or anything."

"No, he's not tamed. He’s free. He only lets himself be vulnerable for one person." She was abusing subtext here, but it seemed to make it easier for Maze.

"His best friend. His Angel." She said wistfully, looking more closely at the skinny scarf.

"I don't think caring made him weak. It was that friendship that helped them find a way to save the world."

"I know." Maze put the gift around her neck. "So, you think I can pull off red hair?"

"I don't doubt it."

Maze grinned. "I'm going to go put together an outfit."

"Can't wait to see it," Linda said with a smile. She decided that next time everyone was out, she was going to have rewatch all those scenes and work out exactly how much Mazikeen Smith saw herself in a made up demon.

***

She got the chance sooner than expected. Maze strolled out of her room half an hour later, declaring she needed a proper vest. Amenadiel had taken Charlie over to see Trixie for the afternoon.  She got through three episodes by the time Maze returned, skipping the parts that only featured mortals.[5]

Linda quickly turned off the TV. "Any success?"

"Yes! And, I also found a present for you. It pretty much jumped out at me, and I couldn't leave it behind." She squatted in front of her friend and held out a small rectangular box.

It wasn't heavy enough to be jewellery. She opened the lid curiously. Inside was a perfect, blue tartan bowtie. "Maze, are you sure you're giving this to the right person?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, Amenadiel is the actual angel, and also male. Not quite sure I can pull it off."

"Pfft. Gender has nothing to do with it.[6] You're my best friend. And you're the one with the pretty blonde curls. You could even wear it with a skirt."

It did sound fun. "I might have something in the closet."

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

***

The wardrobe proved bountiful. She had a pale blue blouse with a collar and pintuck detail on the front, a tight beige skirt with a frill around the bottom, and a light raincoat that nipped in at the waist and then flared outwards. But there was still one thing missing, and she had a good idea where to find it. She picked up her phone.

Hey Lucifer, I need a favour.

_(Devil emoji)_  
Do tell…

Do you have a tan or light brown vest I could borrow?

Is there some kind of waistcoat party going on that i haven't been invited to?

No, why?

Maze was just here. She took a black one. I'm fairly certain it's not coming back.

…

We're doing a costume thing.

Oooooooo

Not like that, it's just for fun.

Who are you going to be?

You might not like the answer to that.

I might surprise you.  
I've got a mustard one if that works.  
Haven't worn it all in ages.  
But…

?

I don't do favours for free.

What do you want?

Pictures.  
Of both of you.  
In character.

Deal.

Can I come pick it up now?

***

Lucifer had brought the whole suit out when she got there. She laughed, trying to imagine herself in the extra long pants. "The vest is all I need," she said. "I've got some other stuff to go with it."

"I'm intrigued."

"Let's just say it's eclectic." She slipped on the waistcoat. It was a completely different shape on her, coming lower on the hips, but around the chest it fit fairly well. Lucifer stood behind her and adjusted the strap so it tucked a bit tighter around the waist. Then he stood back to admire her.

"Lovely. Am I right in thinking that this goes with a tartan bowtie?"

"How did you know?"

"Well this, coupled with Mazikeen's choices, leads me to believe you'll be something ineffable."

"Don't tell me you watched the show? I would have thought you'd hate it. What with the subject matter and all."

"What, and miss out on the greatest gay romance story ever to be put on screen?"

"The what now?"

"Good Omens. Crowley and Aziraphale. True love going against all the odds and standing up against the legions of Heaven and Hell."

She stood there gaping.

"If you're about to tell me they're just friends, then you're fired as my therapist. Again."

"No, you're right, I just didn't see it. Crap! Wait, does Maze know?"

"I expect so. It's unlike her to miss the sexual tension."

"Does that mean…?" She took a seat on the sofa. "She gave me the bowtie."

Lucifer smirked, perching on the arm. "Are you finally seeing it?"

"No, she can't. I asked her straight out and she said no. She may have made a bit of innuendo, but it was a definite no." Her brow creased. "I think."

"Maze wouldn't know love if it climbed on a table and danced naked in front of her."

"But what about Eve?" Maze had spent a certain amount of time pining since the mother of humanity left, in her own way.[7]  
"I believe you call that transference. Don't worry, Doctor, we're all a little blind when it comes to the ones closest to us." He sighed at Linda's look of uncertainty. "Maze is a demon. She's spent all her time in Hell, whose residents comprised of a plethora of other demons, me- and no, you don't need to comment, the implication is there- and the souls of the dregs of humanity. Not a lot of love to learn from. In fact I'd go so far as to say none."

"That's…" Her eyes grew bright with tears.

"I know," he said softly. "But that's how it was. It's how she was made. I've seen how you've changed her though. You and Amenadiel."

"Amenadiel… she keeps calling him Angel. What if he's her Aziraphale?"

"Ooh, Doctor! Does the thought make you jealous?" He pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

Her confusion intensified. "Yes. But they argue all the time. They don't… do they?"

"Remind you of anyone?"

"But then why give the tie to me?"

Lucifer took a long drag and blew smoke up into the air. "Why can't it be both?"

"Now I know you're messing with me."

"Am I? We are talking about Maze." He stood and went over the bar, glass clattering and liquid pouring. "Of course I could be wrong. You might all just be one happy, friendly family."

"Lucifer, stop it. It's just clothes. We're just doing something fun."

He came back and looked at her over the top of his glass. "Unless, there's something else you desire."

It wasn't quite the question, but she felt it pulling at her anyway. "Don't use your Devil tricks on me, Lucifer. I'm happy, and I don't need to go rocking a very full boat."

"That sounds very much like an 'I wouldn't say no.'"

"I'm rapidly rethinking my 'you're not all that evil really' position."

"I'm merely trying to help you understand what you really want, Doctor."

"You're stirring." She stood up decisively. "And I'm leaving. Thanks for the vest."

"Don't forget my photos!"

***

Back in her room, she put her look together. The bowtie needed a bit of tweaking before she could get it to sit just right in the collar. The coat hung beautifully over the skirt, with the mustard vest peering out between. She'd been lazy with her hair this morning, looping it up in a large clip, but it seemed right to spend a bit more time on it now. She plugged in her curling iron and brushed it out, and then set it all in ringlets around her shoulders. A quick touch up of makeup, and she felt ready. Ready for what, she wasn't sure.

She came out of her room to find Maze sprawled on the couch. She had one leg cocked on the coffee table, and one arm of her shielded sunglasses was resting between her teeth. Except for the fact that the pants were shinier and even tighter than the ones on screen, she seemed to have done a pretty good match for all the clothes. She had a satin jacket, snakeskin boots and of course the shoelace-cravat-scarf thing. Her hair was still long, but the perfect shade of red.[8] If Crowley decided to present more female, Linda thought, this is just what she'd look like.

Maze assumed a more vertical position and grinned at Linda. "Hello Angel," she purred.

Linda sat down beside her nervously, placing her hands in her lap. "You like it?"

"You look perfect. You look so perfect I think I should take you out to dinner."

"What, in costume?"

"Why not? It'll be fun."

Before she could answer, the front door opened and Amenadiel returned with a giggling Charlie in his arms.

"Good evening, ladies-" he began, but cut off abruptly when he saw how they were dressed. "Wow! Have I just walked into an alternate reality?"

"Possibly. Maze just invited me out to dinner," Linda said warily.

"You should go," he urged her. "You need to do something other than being a mom all the time."

"But I like being a mom," she answered, reaching for her baby. Amenadiel passed him over with a smile.

"But you also like having fun, and good food, and drinking wine."

"See," Maze said, "even the real angel thinks it's a good idea."

"We could all go," he suggested. "How about a picnic? We could put Charlie in the basket, he could be Adam."

"We are not putting my son in a basket."

"Why not? It was good enough for Moses," Amenadiel shrugged.

"And who would you be?"

"So long as I don't have to put a reptile on my head, I don't care. Or play any of my actual siblings."

"I could pick up another bowtie," Maze suggested. "You could be the first bald Aziraphale cosplay. And the only one with real wings."

Amenadiel seemed to consider it briefly. "I'd need some time to put together the whole outfit."

"We can help!" she offered quickly. "I saw some stuff that might work."

"I would ask Luci if I could borrow his tailor, but it might take a while to get something custom made."

"You could do that too. You would look stunning in something tailor made," Linda pointed out.

"I wonder if I could convince Luci to be my Crowley."

Maze pulled a face. "No. You're our Angel. Besides, gross. I'm pretty sure he'd only do it for Chloe."

He appeared to be about to ask what she meant, but then clearly thought better of it. "Linda, can I use the computer?"

"Sure, knock yourself out. Just make sure you check the delivery dates."

He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and went off.

Linda turned back to Maze. "So, two Aziraphales?"

"My angel and my best friend," she grinned smugly.

"You're right. Our family may not look like a traditional family, but it's ours. We belong to each other, in spite of where we've all come from."

"Just like another angel and demon."

Linda considered. Was she suggesting what Lucifer thought she was suggesting? And if she was, was that something she wanted for herself? She looked down at Charlie- beautiful, impossible Charlie, a person who should never have been able to exist, and yet here he was. What did it matter what shape their love took? "Yeah. Just like them."

***

Amenadiel did look stunning, even in clothes that had been delivered overnight from the internet. Lucifer would have cringed at the cheap fabric of his light brown trousers but the subtle pinstripe was perfect. His shirt was a slightly darker shade of blue than Linda's blouse, and his waistcoat was suede instead of velvet. The coat had been the hardest part, but he'd eventually settled on a light brown woollen coat, which had no collar but came to his knees. Its smooth lines suited his broad shouldered figure, and were slightly reminiscent of his robes. The tartan bowtie should have looked ridiculous on him, but he held himself so angelically that he managed to pull the whole thing off.

Maze looked up from where she was padding out the basket with a soft red blanket. Her eyes swept him up and down. "Don't you look delicious! Like chocolate all wrapped up in caramel." 

He looked a little abashed at the compliment, acknowledging it with a short tilt of the head. "Is everyone nearly ready to go?"

"Linda's just putting a few things in the cooler. Can't have a picnic without food."

"And wine!" she called from the kitchen area, curls bouncing around her face. "I can pack a few extra bottles for those with supernatural metabolisms, but it's going to take some supernatural strength to carry all this across the park."

"That sounds like an angel's job. I've got dibs on the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings," Maze picked Charlie up from his rocker and smiled at him as she continued to list off all the titles, "Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness." The Adversary tried to grab at her shiny sunglasses.

"Hey! He's my spawn, and my brother is never taking credit for him, even if it's just a game."

"Whatever you say, Angel," she grinned, and put him in the basket to check it would be comfortable. He grabbed at the blanket and gurgled his satisfaction. "You like it in there kid? It suits you. Learn to talk soon, though okay? It will make all our lives easier."

"He's way too young to talk Maze," Linda said.

"He's half angel. We have no idea how long it'll take him to learn stuff. He's going to be the smartest kid on earth, aren't you shortie? And the strongest."

***

They drove up to Franklin Canyon Park. It was slow going at points, but beautiful. Tall trees rose up on either side, and they felt like they'd left the city behind them. They set up their picnic blanket near the pond, and a few ducks waddled over expectantly.[9] Amenadiel laughed and pulled a brown paper bag out of his coat pocket. "Tah-da! I know it's not quite my usual magic trick, but its the best I can manage without my time powers."

"What is it?" Maze asked.

"Seeds. So we can feed the ducks."

"Yeah, I'm still not sure why we want to do that."

"Because it's in character," Linda said. "And it's fun. Try it."

She took a handful of seed and threw it straight at the ducks. Some of it bounced off the top of their heads and then they all bent down and nibbled at the ground. When it was gone, they looked up and began quacking for more.

"I don't get it," she admitted flatly.

Amenadiel and Linda seemed to enjoy it immensely and they spent the next ten minutes throwing seeds, getting the ducks to come closer until they were eating out of their hands. Maze dug out the wine and poured three glasses, one significantly smaller than the other two. 

"Oh!" Linda said suddenly. "Amenadiel can you take a picture? I need one for posterity, and I promised to send one to your brother."

"Why…?" Amenadiel looked perplexed. 

"Because we both had to borrow his clothes. Not that he ever wears a three piece anymore, which is a crime, frankly, but more for us." She crawled over to sit next to Maze and handed him her phone. 

Maze passed her a glass of wine and draped an elbow on her shoulder. "Make sure you get in all of the costumes!" They leaned their heads together and smiled. Amenadiel clicked several times to make sure he got a good shot. Linda declared she loved it, and then insisted she take one with the actual angel. Maze punched him on the arm as he went to sit at her right. "No! Other side, moron! Unless you want to be a demon in disguise."

"Hellfire wouldn’t hurt me, you know," he muttered, but moved anyway. Linda spotted the ways her eyes followed him hungrily. Because of course Lucifer was right. She took the picture, and she had to admit that although Maze was playing the role more accurately[10] she had to admit that Amenadiel did look very alluring. She let the thought sit in the back of her consciousness, not actively pursuing it, but not completely dismissing it either.

Charlie woke up a little and started fussing, and Maze took him out the basket. "Hey, tiny angel! Don’t grumble, we’re having a picnic. You want some wine?" He calmed as he looked at her.

"Maze, no, babies can’t drink wine. You’ll make him sick."

"He’s an angel baby, he’ll be fine."

"Yeah, well, he poops like a human, so I’m not willing to take the risk."

She touched Charlie’s cheek softly. "Mommy’s a spoilsport. But the faster you grow, the sooner your demon Auntie can show you all the fun stuff. Soon as you’re big enough, we’ll do wine, and blades, and parties-"

"Maze!" It was Amenadiel who jumped in this time. "Please. We just want him to have a normal life."

Maze laughed. "You’re kidding right? This kid’s life is never going to be normal. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But I’m going to make sure he enjoys it."

"And that's good," Linda assured her. "I'm sure you'll lead him into all kinds of temptation. Just remember that we don't know how vulnerable he is yet."

Maze rolled her eyes. "Okay, I get it. Overprotective mom. You'll see. He's going to be awesome." He grabbed at the grey scarf around her neck and tugged it.[11]

"He already is," Linda grinned. "Now, who wants food?" She reached into the cooler, and from between the layers of ice pulled out a carefully wrapped tray of sushi. 

"Sure, I'm hungry for something fishy," Maze bit into her own lip and gave Linda a look similar to the one she'd used on Amenadiel. Linda felt herself grow warm, and a couple of the thoughts she'd pushed to the back of her mind jostled their way to the front waving rainbow flags.

Amenadiel took the tray and pulled off the cellophane. "You know, I never got around to trying this before." He helped himself to a piece and bit into it, humming his approval. "It's good."

"Don't forget the soy sauce," Linda said, popping the lid from the tupperware. 

It was a wonderful meal. There were also wraps and banana muffins and fresh fruit, and there were pudding cups for afters. They all took turns holding Charlie. At last Amenadiel declared himself stuffed and lay flat on his back to stretch. Maze wiggled about and ended up with her head on his belly, looking content and comfortable. Linda held Charlie to her chest and laid down on the other side so that her head was next to the demon's, but upside down in relation to it.

Amenadiel lifted his head and smiled down at them both. "I trust I make a good enough pillow."

"You make the perfect pillow, angel," Linda said and smiled back. She turned back the other way to smile at Maze, only to find her face incredibly close. She let their noses brush against each other, almost as if by accident[12] and then returned her gaze to the sky. "What's it like up there, among the clouds?".

"Cold," Amenadiel answered. "And damp. I'd offer to show you, but once you get that high the air's a little thin."

"Really? You'd take me flying?"

"I suppose I could if we stayed low enough. But it would have to be somewhere far from the city, so nobody could see."

"That sounds kinda romantic."

"Hmm. Is that a problem?"

"I'm not sure." She turned back towards Maze. "What do you think?"

Maze cocked an eyebrow. "Are you inviting me along for the ride?"

"I think, if we decide to take any steps in that direction, we all have to take them together. I don't want a repeat of the last time."

"And when you say 'together'..."

"I mean together." Linda bent her head slightly, placing her lips softly on Maze's forehead. "But slowly. Like, super slow, make sure this isn't going to blow our family apart slow."

Maze breathed, quick and shallow. "Just don't take six thousand years to get there, okay? I still want to take you on a proper dinner date though."

"I'd like that."

"Did I miss something?" Amenadiel asked, as if he hadn't quite followed the twists and turns of the conversation. 

"Nothing for you to worry about, angel," Maze said. "We're all good."

"Well how about I miracle this stuff back into the car, and then we can go for a wander through the woods."

"Can you do that? Like-" Linda asked, and snapped.

"No," he admitted grudgingly. "It's more a matter of lifting and carrying. But I am very good at that too."

"Your heavenly strength is still impressive, angel. I'll wait here with Charlie. He's getting tired."

"Put him back in the basket," Maze said. "I can carry him."

"Are you still using my baby as a costume prop?"

"No," she scoffed, but as soon as she had the basket on her hands she was swinging it gently and singing Crowley's lullaby. 

And Linda had an epiphany. Crowley was a demon, true, but that didn't make him wrong. He did bad things, he had different moral standards, but he was exactly the way he was supposed to be. No one was trying to redeem him, or fix him, or change him into something else. The good things he did, he did through his own choices.

And Aziraphale loved him, just as he was. He accepted the bad with the good, and he let himself indulge in temptations because it brought them closer together. They met in the middle, in the grey areas, and never once was it suggested that either of them change sides. They created their own side.

And right now, swinging a baby in a basket, who was part human and part divine, was a demon who was looking for a place in between. Who wanted to be loved for all that she was, without being asked to change, but who would change and grow as she learned what love meant.

Linda vowed to herself that she would find that space in between, to keep letting Maze be Maze, to let her grow at her own speed.

Amenadiel was walking back towards them from the car, and they fell into step together and headed into the woods. Linda ended up in the middle, pleased that she'd opted for a flat shoe for the sake of the terrain but very conscious of the fact that it left a few inches shorter than usual. She felt very small, but at the same time, very well protected. It seemed perfectly natural to reach for her family's elbows and hook her arms through theirs. They glanced at each other briefly, but didn't feel the need to comment. 

The three beings from three realms wandered through the trees, along with an impossible baby in a basket. There was a nervous energy in Linda's chest, an expectation that things were changing. She felt closer to Maze than she had before, the new understanding helping her find such beauty in her darkness. She felt her former bond with Amenadiel returning, an affection she'd tried to lock away breaking free once more.

Small steps, she told herself. Don't let this get away from you.

They came to a small rise that looked out into a quiet clearing with a stream running through it. Amenadiel looked around, and when he was certain there was no one else around, he smiled and unfurled his wings. As they gazed at the view, there was a rustle of feathers, and he lifted one wing above them, protectively. 

"Angel…" Maze whispered, looking over at him.

He kept his eyes forward. Linda squeezed their arms and pulled them all tighter together.

"I don't know what's going to happen. It's not like there's a real plan, ineffable or otherwise, but Heaven and Hell are changing, and that will have an impact on Earth. You are my family, and I will do everything I can to protect you, all of you."

"I know," Linda said. "I know you'll both look after me and Charlie. And I can't thank you enough for how safe that makes me feel."

Maze's eyes wandered up to the feathered canopy above her. She lifted the basket, hugging it to her chest. "Look, kid, your dad's an angel. Don't tell anyone though, it's a secret."

"I'm glad you got them back," Linda said, letting go of his arm to reach up and run her fingers through silver softness. "They're beautiful."

"Me too," Maze agreed. "It was a lot of fun ruining them, though."

"I don't think it was entirely your fault, Maze," Amenadiel said.

"I get some of the credit though, right? For setting you in the path of self-doubt and temptation?"

He smiled. "You were good at the temptation part, yes."

"Wait wait wait!" Linda interrupted, holding up a flat hand. "Are we saying that if it hadn't have been for Maze, you wouldn't have fallen?"

"I suppose that's true," he admitted. 

"Yes!" Maze hissed. "It's official, I corrupted an angel!"

"But if you hadn't fallen, we wouldn't have Charlie," Linda went on. "So that means Maze is partly responsible for his conception." She turned and winked at the demon. "Which makes you somehow his parent too."

"I'm not being a second mom," Maze said flatly, but one corner of her mouth was pulling upwards. "Maybe more like a Nanny Crowley."

"In the book, she was Nanny Ashtoreth," Linda informed them, and her two companions both burst into laughter. "What did I miss?"

"Lucifer brought Maze along for some of his escape attempts," Amenadiel said, still grinning. "She made an impression very early on. The humans named her a demon of lust and a goddess of war, and called her Ashtoreth." He shook his head slowly. "I was _fuming!_ Even after I dragged them back, they were dedicating shrines to her for years."

"I'm dressing up as myself!" Maze wheezed. 

"So you're telling me, that if Ashtoreth is Crowley, then Crowley is inspired by you?" Linda beamed.

"Yup."

"What about you, Amenadiel? Lose any flaming swords lately?"

"It was my sister's sword, and I wasn't the one who lost it."

"So, this entire show is less like a fantasy for you guys, and more like a soap opera?"

"Or a romantic comedy," Maze said, with a sly look sideways.

"Except without much romance," Amenadiel disagreed.

Linda chewed on her top lip for second before she decided to break it to him. "Says the angel who is currently sheltering not just one, but two of his past lovers under his wing." 

"And that moment where he just shoved him up against the wall," Maze offered, "doesn't that bring back memories?"

Amenadiel's brows knitted together, and the women turned to each other. Maze still held the basket in one hand, but she gestured melodramatically with the other. "Oh Angel, come away with me, we'll run off to the stars!"

"I can't!" Linda raised the back of her hand to her forehead. "You're a demon, it wouldn't be right. I'll get into trouble and there'll be paperwork!"

"Well, if you won't save the planet, will you at least come to dinner with me?"

"Ooh!" she brightened. "Can we have crepes?"

Amenadiel looked down at his costume, and then at Linda and Maze. "Is this a date? Did I inadvertently ask you both on a date?"

"Yes, Angel," Maze replied. "This is a date."

"But we'll forgive your ignorance because it's so perfectly in character," Linda added.

His face melted into a picture of astonishment. "Oh."

"Don't worry," she assured him. "I'm sure there will be plenty more. If everyone's agreeable, of course."

"Well, I'm in," Maze said quickly. 

"Yeah," he agreed. "I think I'm in too."

Linda smiled, and took their hands. "Temptation accomplished!"

1Including kidnapping. [ back ]

2All for the benefit of Charlie, it was claimed. And believed by none. [ back ]

3Something that had been in short enough supply when she had two housemates suddenly move in, and became more of a pressing need as Charlie insisted on growing out of his clothes. [ back ]

4Tie thingy? Skinny scarf? Unusual bolo? Fucking shoelace? Even those who had spent hours staring at screenshots of the thing in order to recreate it exactly still weren't sure what to call it. [ back ]

5Don't blame her, you know we've all done it. [ back ]

6It really doesn't. There are some very pretty girl Aziraphale cosplayers, many of whom are female. Maze may have enjoyed looking at their selfies. She had definitely read and commented on a lot of discussion online about Crowley's gender fluidity. [ back ]

7Which invariably left gouges in Linda's furniture. Luckily Linda had plenty of experience with filling holes. But she was starting to run out of spackle. [ back ]

8Linda didn't know how she'd found the time to dye it. But that's because she also didn't know that Maze could adjust her hair colour and length at will. It was all part of the glamour that kept her demon face hidden. It was also how she'd managed to go pink and back in the space of a week. [ back ]

9These ducks had not received the levels of attention of those on St James Park, and thus did not have the Pavlovian reaction, but a few of them recognised tourists when they saw them. [ back ]

10It’s possible that she was doing so deliberately, but it was equally possible she just had a natural tendency to sprawl and couldn’t be bothered to hide her desire for the angel. [ back ]

11According to the baby books, he shouldn't have been able to do this for another month or two. The only one who remembered this fact was Amenadiel, but he just thought it meant his son was bright and didn't consider the wider implications. [ back ]

12Though they both knew it wasn't. [ back ]


End file.
